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  • Writer's pictureJeff Cowley, DC

Mattress Matters

Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and pondering life's most perplexing questions? No, not the meaning of existence or the elusive pursuit of happiness. I'm talking about the all-important, earth-shattering inquiry that haunts humanity in the darkest hours: "What mattress should I buy?"

Yes, it's a question that arises with the frequency of cicadas during summer, buzzing in the ears of chiropractors everywhere. As a proud member of the backbone brigade, I am often approached as if I hold the sacred scrolls of mattress enlightenment. It seems that, every so often, people view chiropractors not just as healers of the spine but as gurus of the mattress realm.

It's a puzzling phenomenon. Picture this: a patient reclines on the chiropractic table, looking up with a mix of reverence and desperation. Before I can adjust a single vertebra, they implore, "Doc, what mattress should I get?" It's as if I'm about to provide spiritual guidance rather than spinal realignment.

Choosing a mattress, you see, is no light matter. It's a commitment akin to choosing a life partner, minus the candlelit dinners and romantic strolls. After all, the average person spends about one-third of their life nestled with their mattress, so it better be a good match.

Now, let me share some sage advice on the subject – wisdom gleaned from the trenches of chiropractic care.

  1. Firmer is Generally Better: If the parts of our body were assigned office roles, the back would be the OCD workaholic, the Energizer Bunny on steroids. Your back labors tirelessly, and during sleep, it deserves a vacation. A firmer mattress ensures your back doesn't have to pull overtime, unlike that one coworker who always leaves their dirty dishes in the office sink.

  2. No Such Thing as One Size Fits All: People often inquire about orthopedic mattresses as though they're a magic elixir for all. Orthopedic mattresses contour to your body, but much like the brand loyalty of valley dwellers to trucks, they work for some and not for others. It's like asking if everyone in your neighborhood drives a Ford just because your uncle swears by it.

  3. Lifestyle Changes Count: Before diving into the mattress market, consider lifestyle adjustments. Just as starting an exercise program or shedding a few pounds can work wonders, so can maintaining spinal alignment through chiropractic care. Think of it as upgrading your body's operating system before investing in the fanciest mattress on the market.


In conclusion, dear readers, the quest for the perfect mattress is a journey fraught with peril, akin to Frodo's trek to Mordor, but with fewer orcs and more memory foam. Approach the mattress showroom with caution, and always be mindful of the return policy if things just don’t work out.

And remember, when in doubt, consult your chiropractor for both spinal wisdom and possibly, mattress divination. Sweet dreams, and may your spine be forever aligned!

 

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